The World We Live In

Steve

My life changed forever at age 8,

Little did I know what was coming in my life.

That was the age I lost my innocence,

As I sit here as an adult reflecting on it, it hurts.

I’m finally opening up and writing about my experience,

So I can share this with the world and people hear my story.

My mom was dating a man who just moved to our state,

He was an out-of-towner claiming he wanted a new start.

After dating my mom for a year, they got married,

A small ceremony with close family and friends.

There was just something about him my family didn’t like,

I was a young kid and I knew something just wasn’t right.

But here my mom was, madly in love with this man,

And me and my brothers weren’t fond of him like that.

You know what they say, always trust a child’s instinct,

They’re the ones who tell the truth the most besides drunk people.

Thank goodness I never openly spoke about this story while drunk,

I guess the memories are too painful to be open about this.

My brothers were older than me, in their teens, one 15 and one 17 at the time,

So there was a big gap between my brothers and me.

Anyway, the divorce from my dad shattered us to be honest,

The good part was he lived in the next town from us so we still saw him.

 Not too long after this new marriage and new life started,

My stepfather would say slick comments to me.

I didn’t know what they meant but I asked my brothers,

They told me what he meant and I was a bit worried.

I couldn’t tell my mom because well, he could do no wrong,

She was too blind and oblivious to who he truly was.

There was one afternoon when I was home alone with him,

My brothers had their sports teams, mom was still at work.

I was in my room and he came in my room and started touching me,

I didn’t understand what was going on, I was an innocent kid.

I didn’t feel comfortable at all and he was a big man so I was scared.

This became a common occurrence most afternoons after school,

Then he would sneak into my room at night and touch me.

Soon it escalated to me touching him on his body parts,

Touching him felt disgusting and I cringed a lot of times.

This went on for a good amount of time because I couldn’t say anything,

He threatened me with beatings and he would harm me if I told.

Weekends were great for me, I went to my dad’s to be with him,

I could escape this man’s wrath of pedophilia now that I reflect on it.

I was molested and sexually abused for a good 5 years,

Until I turned 13 and was a teenager and became much bigger.

Then there was no purpose for me anymore, he wanted fresh meat,

I realize now that’s the reason why he never messed with my brothers.

 By the time I was 14, the marriage was at its end and he had moved on,

Eventually leaving the state and by that time I was withdrawn from everyone.

Spending a lot of days and nights in my room alone consumed in thoughts,

Hating myself each waking day I was alive and for not telling anyone.

Guilt kicked in on me and I eventually told my older brothers,

They were shocked, alarmed, startled, pissed, angry so many emotions.

Enraged and wanting revenge on him, they wanted to find him,

But he was a goner, who knows what state he was in and who was next on his list.

Wondering if he had done this before and to anyone else,

I wouldn’t put it past him and I started to think he did to be honest.