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Emotions Running High for Robert

Jamell Crouthers

Jamell Crouthers

a book bubble about

The Struggles and Growth of a Man

Literature & Fiction

synopsis

Synopsis

A book about a young man named Robert who chronicles a poetic diary about his struggles through childhood of having a drug addicted mother and a deadbeat father. He is working his way through life learning a lot of rights and wrongs while being a role model to his younger brother. There's one man who cared about him and his well-being, his guidance counselor Mr. Marble who molds him into a better man, is a role model to him and shows him a better way of life. Through the trials and tribulations of life, Robert chronicles his thoughts and experiences on various issues such as family, love, relationships, his neighborhood and growing into the man he wants to be. This book shows that men struggle in life and that sometimes we all need an ear to listen, a talk to clear our minds, a heart that is kind and warmth to comfort our souls. Robert finds a purpose in life for himself after the mistakes he's made and he wants to prove to his family that the cycle of pain can be broken and that needing help and guidance from others doesn't make him weak, it only makes him mentally stronger. A book that everyone will enjoy from beginning to end.

bio

Author Biography

I'm a poet and writer that creates thought-provoking content about different aspects of life. My goal is to write as many poetry books on societal issues that we all face in today's age. Through writing poetry, it is an easy read for others and it's a gateway to getting inside of my mind and how I write.

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Author Insight

Emotions Running High for Robert

Robert is at a place of complete vulnerability in this chapter. He's speaking from the heart and not as much from the mind. He emotes more than he ever has and this writing becomes a sense of therapy for him. He talks about how he never loved himself but loves his brother more than he loves himself. He speaks of his childhood and what he's experienced and dealt with a long the way. While it is hard for a man to verbalize all that he is feeling, Robert lays it all on the line and you begin to love and respect him for who he is, what he once was and what he's becoming as a young man. Sometimes we don't give men enough credit for being open and vulnerable and we frown upon them for being too emotional.

Book Excerpt

The Struggles and Growth of a Man

Loving Myself (The Hardest Thing)

I’ve never truly loved myself,

Hard to believe but it’s so true.

Every day I deal with my inner thoughts,

Wondering why I’ve never loved myself.

I love my brother until I die, that will never change,

I probably love my brother more than he loves himself.

Mirrors scare the shit out of me a lot of days,

Because it makes me realize who I am truly am.

I’m a good looking man but I’m not looking at my facial features,

I’m looking at the wrongdoings I’ve done in my life.

The mirror makes me realize that I lost my soul for a while,

I somehow got it back by turning my life around.

The corner is right there, I can go back to that any day,

But it’ll be proof that I don’t truly value or love myself.

Some days I did want to die to get out of this hell,

Heaven sounded a lot better to me than the ghetto.

Some circumstances were meant to make us stronger,

The mirror has brought tears to my eyes some days.

Tears of sorrow and feeling alone in a bathroom of a lot of drug use,

This bathroom makes me have flashbacks of a tough childhood.

47

My mom hiding in this bathroom a lot of days to shoot up or sniff,

With the door locked, her passed out from her high I couldn’t pee.

Loving myself is hard to do when no one loves you,

With the exception to my younger brother.

Loving ourselves as men is hard to do,

We don’t even openly say we love ourselves.

I’m not comfortable in my own skin,

My eyes were once dark and cold, now they’re lighter.

There was nothing that I valued myself as a man,

I grew up in an environment a lot of people wouldn’t survive.

Somehow I made it and I have a long way to go,

Loving myself is the start of this journey to being a better man.

The Struggles and Growth of a Man

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