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Ivan G Thompson
a book bubble about
Filling in His Dash My Dad’s Loves, Life, and Legacy
Biographies & Memoirs
Author Insight
The Five Love Languages and My Dad
“The Five Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman, is one of my favorite books. Describing the underlying concept as simply as I can, it says that love is shown in five primary “love languages”: quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. Further, the premise says that each person has one or two primary love languages in which they express love and want to have it expressed. Understanding this concept has greatly enhanced the quality of my relationships with my children. I understand that I may be expressing love in the ways I primarily want to receive it but not in ways someone else may want it. I wasn’t very close to my father growing up, but reading his love poems revealed that my father and I share two love languages, physical touch and quality time. In this intimate look into my dad’s life/heart, I can see his struggle to receive love in his language and give love in someone else’s. Truly fascinating.
Book Excerpt
Filling in His Dash My Dad’s Loves, Life, and Legacy
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When a person learns to love someone, he becomes aware of the way he perceives love; may not be the way the other person perceives it.
When I think of the word love in this relationship - I think about holding her close, kissing her, making love, holding hands, going for walks.
I think she shows her love by washing dishes, washing clothes, cooking, and cleaning.
So when I want to change things, I must become more helpful with the housework and hope she might become romantic.
Otherwise, we will continue this way. I’m lying in bed, fantasizing about how it would feel to have her lying close to me. And she is in the kitchen washing dishes wishing I was there helping.
I can’t say I’ll enjoy washing dishes etc. But she doesn’t either. It’s not something for enjoyment- it’s something that has to be done.
I can’t say she’ll enjoy lying with me- other than back rubs - I don’t rate high on her list of physical needs. But I know I need it. Maybe come if the choice is between holding dishes or holding me- I’ll win sometimes.
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