One of the most interesting things about humans is our strong desire to connect with others. If you think of it from a symbiotic perspective, you acquire this desire during the time you are in your mother’s womb. As you grow and develop as a fetus, you are attached to her in the closest way possible, becoming aware of her voice, heartbeat, and warmth. This in essence is your safety net.
Being delivered from the safety of a mother’s body is perhaps one of the most traumatic events we all must experience. The transition from a safe, warm, and cozy environment into the real world is difficult. A mother is most needed by her baby during those early days to nurture and help find one’s space in the world.
As each of us grew up, we passed through the same stages: infant, toddler, tween, teen, and young adult to a more mature adult. All this time, we were learning how to be independent; we still craved the warmth, interaction, and bond we shared with mother, and often with dad.
As we mature, we feel a desire to experience this same warmth, interaction, and bond with someone else. This is known as a transfer of love and attachment.
This transference is normal and healthy. As we continue to evolve as independent adults, we seek a connection with someone who understands and loves us for who we are. There is a very powerful connection when we meet someone and interact in a relationship in which we realize they get us and accept us for who we are and what we are.
This is exactly what we’ve been looking for. What you have been wanting, possibly your whole life.
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