Killing Me Softly

“Are you freakin’ kidding me? Shut the front door, you look SICK!” Victoria shouts at me as I walk in the house.

“You just closed the door and I feel fine,” I say to her. Nuttier than my dad.

Sam laughs as he comes over to hug me. He thinks he’s being European if he hugs and air kisses everyone who enters the house. “You do look sick!”

“If I look that sick, I better go home then.”

“You really don’t know what that means do you? Sick as in amazing. You look amazing and I’m guessing you took her literal when she said to shut the front door. She’s trying not to say the F-word anymore. It’s all part of her plan to get on Ellen with one of her inventions.”

“Oh, okay, that makes more sense. I really was confused about the door.”