Loose Jimmy says, “One time it all starts with a maggot who rode the roller coaster and, at the end, says, 'I waited an hour in line. That ride wasn't long enough. I'm going around again.'”
“Typical maggot,” says Fowler, chewing on some ice.
“Well, the operators weren't very experienced. They tell him he can't ride again, but he refuses to budge. The ride operators don't want to call security so they commit an exercise in bad judgment. They let the guy ride again. At the end of that round they now have five maggots who want a second ride and, seeing how successful the first maggot was, refuse to budge.
“Then the ride operators call security. A couple of guards show up and get the story. They argue with the maggots, but get nowhere. The whole thing begins to escalate. The maggots in line are getting restless, the maggots in the roller coaster refuse to budge. The ride operators are hiding behind the controls. Tony, as supervisor, is called over. He tries talking to these guys.
'He got an extra ride, I want an extra ride,' gets repeated several times. After ten minutes of discussion, Tony gets three of them off the coaster, but the last two challenge Tony to drag them off, which will be loud and physical. Finally, Tony tells one of the guards, 'All right, call Rory.'
“Rory is the last step before dealing with a reluctant maggot using six or seven guards. She's been studying five kinds of martial arts since she was six-years old. When Rory arrives, Tony tells her what's going on and sends her in to defuse the situation. She goes up to maggot number one, smiles and sweetly says, 'Let's work this out so everybody's happy, okay?' and extends her hand for a handshake.
“Maggot takes her hand and after a few turns and twists is out of the roller coaster car and bent over in front of Rory going, 'Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ...'
“Rory says, 'There, now, I'm happier. How about you? If I let go you'll be happier, won't you? Are you ready to leave the park? Quietly?'
“'Ow yes ow yes ow yes ow yeeeeessssss ...'
“'Okay, then. I'm going to let go now, but you're going to be good, aren't you?'
“'Oh, HELL yes.'
“'Good, she says, letting him go. 'Now you're happy, too. My friend Fowler here is gonna go with you to the gate so you don't get lost on the way out. You're not going to get lost, are you?'
“'Oh, HELL no.'
“'Good-bye,' says Rory, then turns to the other maggot and says, 'You're planning to leave now, too, aren't you? You can go with Fowler here.'
“'Y-y-y-y-yes, ma'am,' says maggot two, stumbling out of the coaster car and heading for the exit, family in tow.
“Rory turns to the maggots in line, who are now quiet as mice, 'Everybody is going to have a good time, be happy and ride the roller coaster ONCE, right?'
“Nobody argues. A few people mumble, 'Yes, yeah, yes ma'am, sure, okay,' etc.
“The ride operators come back out. Security leaves, having returned equilibrium to another situation.”
“Are you kidding me?” I say, “Rory?”
“Like I said, special circumstances,” says Loose Jimmy, chewing ice, “something like that happens about once a month or so. Everybody's nice to Rory, especially the rest of the security guards, who don't want to try and drag somebody off a ride. Rory … gets it done,” he says. After a pause he adds, “With class.”
This and other stories occupy us as we get hammered as opposed to our original plan of hanging out at the park.
And yes, we all go out and drive on the freeways after a couple of drinks. The heat sweats some of the alcohol out, Tommy's car doesn't have A/C, but it was a typical stupid maggot trick on our part.
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