Through the Woods to the Sea A Journey of Becoming Me

I wake to the sound of the ocean and the need to see it before I do anything else. I settle into my rocking chair on the deck, sipping my first cup of tea waiting for the sun to rise. The sun is just below the horizon. It is hazy with a thin line of clouds on the edge of the sea. The ocean is varying shades of blues and greens. She is calm. The waves cresting just as they hit the shoreline. The tide is coming in.

Muggy and warm, streaks of dark red, orange and yellow rise up out of the horizon as the sun climbs to sit upon the top of the sea. In a blink of an eye the sun moves up into the sky and the day has begun. A new day - A new start. - A new me - A new life. I am living my dream of living at the ocean and taking the first step into my new life.

The only thing that matters is spending as much time as possible on the beach. I am drawn there every day. Most mornings I am anxious to get down to the ocean. I am spending my days sitting on the beach, watching the waves, going in the water, writing, sunbathing, and conversing with other beachgoers and fishermen.

I write each day as I sit on the beach. Words spill out upon the page, page after page. I have no idea if any of it is any good or if I will be able to actually use it or put it into some kind of structure that anyone will be able to read never mind want to read. It doesn’t matter right now because I am writing. I am writing the beginnings of a new story with me in it. I am beginning to think of myself as a writer.

When I am not on the beach I am looking out upon it from my balcony. I sit in my rocking chair, enjoy a glass of wine, watch the waves cresting and cascading, and the pelicans and seagulls diving for fish. I love watching the dolphins at play. In the morning, I watch the sunrise from the horizon. In the evening, I enjoy the stars shining and watch the moon make her way across the sky. This is definitely heaven on earth.

It doesn’t matter that I am sitting here alone for this is where I am meant to be. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. I am not alone for I have the sea and all her wonders and mysteries as well as all the other fellow ocean lovers who walk and visit these shores. The quiet of the beach in the fall is nice. The water is still warm enough to go swimming, the sky blue, the sun shining, the crowds gone. There is plenty of beach to roam, to explore and to have space by myself.

The water has moved further away, adding more beach between me and the sea. It feels like this journey I am on, having come miles down the beach only to have the beach grow bigger and bigger and the distance gets longer and longer. I still have further to dive into beneath the surface of my heart and soul. I still have more to discover in my depths before I can fully step into myself.

Each day I take a walk along the shore, examining the shells, stones, and debris that spills out of the ocean with the tides. The ocean fills my day, opens my heart, touches my soul, and stirs my creativity. I look at the beach - miles in each direction. I haven’t ventured to explore very much of the twenty-six miles of this island except the few miles of the beach in either direction.

Every day I choose a direction to walk. I stop and talk with many of the fishermen that are hoping to catch that big one but most of them are just relaxing and enjoying the wonder of the ocean. I sit on the shore in front of my condo for hours, going in and out of the water and writing and writing and writing every day. People stop and speak to me to find out if I am drawing or writing.

People I meet are in awe of the fact that I am going in the water. Locals and other southerners think the water is already too cold to venture into. I have gotten the reputation of being ‘that lady who sits and writes, goes in the water every day, and dances as she walks along the shore – she’s from up north –New England you know.’

I am at peace. I know I belong here. I do have moments of sadness at not being able to share my joy with those who have helped me arrive here. Maybe I am the only one who has this affinity with the sea. Maybe I am the only one she speaks to so strongly. I sit here on the shore watching the waves and wait for more signs from the Angels. What messages from the depth of the sea will they bring to me today?

I have hope. I have faith that somewhere in the depths of the ocean are wonderful treasures meant just for me. In her own time, she will bring them to me depositing them at my feet. She will deposit so many treasures that I will not be able to partake of them all and will have to choose carefully. What I do not choose maybe someone else will discover and enjoy. Some treasures the ocean will take back into her depths to someday return to another distant shore for someone else to find. There is enough for everyone who wishes for them. There is one or more for you. All you have to do is walk upon the shore with awareness, joy, wonder, and expectation.