What a beautiful day, cloudy with the sun peeking in and out. Warm for this time of year. The leaves have all turned now. They crunch under my feet as I walk the trails. I am alerting the deer and all the animals that I am coming. The sun is a huge white ball, a very bright white light. I have never seen the sun so brilliant. As it sinks into the trees a green light than a pink magenta light flood into the clouds and down into the horizon. Then it is gone as quickly as it appeared and dusk arrives. It is easy living day to day. I am lost in each moment.
Living in the present moment nothing outside of this community exists. There is no past or future just right here, now. I think I could live this way for a long time. I feel at peace, I have peace of mind. The only time I reach out to the outside world is to check in with my daughters. When other communications reach me they are an unwanted and unwelcome intrusion.
I have put everything I have left behind out of my mind. Being present and enjoying every moment, working, walking in the woods, socializing, getting to know everyone and just being. This isn’t a new concept for me. When the girls were little I was grasping at straws to get through the torture of the empty days. I read Jon Kabat-Zinn and his work on mindfulness meditation. I started meditating every day. I focused on moment to moment. His work and teachings were my salvation for a while. Then life dragged me back into the past and future. Worry about the future swirled me up into a tornado of fear and panic.
I realize that I have not had one single tension headache. Not one! Here I am miles away from everything and everyone I know, among strangers in a strange place, and I am not nervous or anxious or tense. How can I be relaxed and happy in this situation when I have been so anxious and unhappy in my own home? I am living completely in the present moment and loving it.
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