How Not To Tear Your Family Apart

“First, I want to compliment both of you for how well you handled yourselves as part of your grandparents’ Care Planning Team. They are adjusting to having help for Grandma, and you know Grandpa; he is controlling every detail of her care.” Jackson pauses while his children brush off the compliment but beaming faces say otherwise.

Jodi puts her hand on Jackson’s arm. “Now it’s our turn.”

Panic engulfs Erik’s and Nicole’s faces. They think they are about to hear that one of their parents has been diagnosed with something requiring extended care or worse.

Jodi continues, “Oh dear, I see I need to explain. One of our biggest concerns is that the obligation to provide extended or long-term care for one of us could likely interfere with your career path and your lifestyle.” She can almost see behind their expressions that they are thinking about the promotion that she passed up and the terrible effect it had on her health. “Let me remind you that as we discovered workable options by using the three simple steps, the entire family, including your grandparents, started to look more relaxed and confident. We want to do the same for the next generation—you!”

Erik responds, “But isn’t this too early? There isn’t anything wrong, right?” Erik looks to his sister for backup.

Nicole takes over, “Is there something we don’t know? I agree with Erik. Grandma and Grandpa are older. I am so glad that we found a couple of options that worked so they can age at home. But you guys are, well, younger.”

Jodi answers, “As I recall, you both were concerned about the effect providing care for your grandparents was having on me, and that was before we ended up at the hospital. Erik, your job required you to move away. What if your or Nicole’s next job or promotion moves you farther away? It is expensive to fly back and forth and not very practical.”