How Not To Tear Your Family Apart

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

Speaking of the future, one of the hardest things about planning for the future is imagining what it will bring. In the case of extended or long-term care planning, a helpful technique is to imagine that an extended care plan you envision has succeeded. From that point, think through all the reasons why it would be successful. Then, imagine that the same strategy has underperformed, and think through all the reasons why it wouldn’t achieve success.

For someone struggling to envision their future self, here are some helpful questions to help guide you. Each person should answer them individually.

• Do you have a retirement date in mind?
• If applicable, do you think your spouse/partner has the same date in mind?
• Will you want to travel? Do you have a budget for travel and entertainment in mind?
• Do you expect to do volunteer work?
• How do you envision your health during the aging process?
• Do you expect to stay in your current home and age in place, downsize, or change homes?
• Do you want to stay in your current location or move closer to your children or friends?
• Do you want to live independently if your spouse/partner/companion predeceases you?
• Do you worry about affording the lifestyle you envision?
• Do you worry about being a burden?
• What do you want to leave behind as a legacy?
• Do you have a story about someone close in age to you who had extended or long-term care needs? What happened? Does their story affect your view? Do you think their story adds color to how you envision your story?

  Jackson and Jodi found the exercise personally helpful, enlightening, and fun!

  “I wish I had been a fly on the wall,” Doug jokes. “ Did you two do serious battle?”

  “There is no denying that at times, it got, shall we say, a bit informative. But it’s what you don’t know that you don’t know that can trip you up.”

  “Or what you think you know that you don’t know,” Doug observes.

  “At the end of the day, or shall I say, at the end of multiple dinners, we had a much better idea of why people turn to advisors for help,” Jackson hesitantly admits.

  “You mean as a referee?”

  Jackson, now grinning, replies, “ I guess!” Then, more seriously, he adds, “But more as an interpreter to help us see possibilities.”