How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Parenting & Relationships

synopsis

Synopsis

"Carroll weaves her vast experience in long term care insurance and personal insights into the MUST-READ book! It is jam-packed with helpful information families and professionals need to know in order to make informed decisions about aging planning." —Annalee Kruger, President of Care Right Inc., and author of The Invisible Patient: The Emotional, Financial, and Physical Toll on Family Caregivers

Who’s going to be the physical, emotional, and financial caregiver in your family (no matter how you define family)? Few of us understand or are prepared for the breadth of lifestyle implications that come with that role. On the flip side, what if it’s you that needs care?

Meet the Jones family, a multigenerational example of how it all works in the real world. Follow Jodi and her family as they suddenly must deal with her parent’s extended care needs. Tension, guilt, and a lack of information start to impact Jodi’s health, happiness, job and family, relationships. Follow along as this multigenerational family uses my three-step process to create a Care Guide, a Care Squad, and a Care Planning Team. Learn how to establish a framework to start and continue conversations, minimize tension, and gain an overview of several planning options to fit almost any budget so you’re ready for tomorrow.

bio

Author Biography

Carroll S. Golden, CLU, ChFC, FLMI, CASL, LACP, LTCP, CLTC, is an executive, author, and pubic speaker whose focus is working with agents/advisors and caregivers about opening family discussions and planning for extended care needs. Currently, she serves as the Executive Director of the National Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors (NAIFA) Specialty Centers. She is dedicated to helping professionals and families create and fund a plan for extended care by providing actionable information, guidance, effective strategies, expertise, and resources. Following Carroll’s text-book for professionals, “How Not To Tear Your Family Apart,” her second book, an Amazon #1 Best Seller story-book, “How Not To Pull Your Family Apart” encourages individuals and families to identify with the story’s characters, overcome the silence, and engage in these important discussions. Carroll can be reached at carroll@thecaringconversation.com

website

Author Insight

What DoesThis Study Tell You?

Do you know how many of your clients extended or long-term care strategy requires another family members to be the LTC plan? I was reading an issue of McKnights LTC News and came across yet another reason to have the “talk” with families and clients. The Journal of the American Geriatrics Society reported that… “Over 30% of older adult caregivers report simultaneously receiving care for their own daily activities." Older caregivers who receive care are more likely to be older spousal caregivers, have limited assets, and worsening physical health. Younger generations will need figure out how to help or cope when older caregivers become unable to continue to be the caregiver. As costs increase, limited assets won’t go as far and can make professional assistance out-of-reach or destroy even a healthy financial plan. Ask the question, “How will this work in the long run-for you and for someone you care about?” Listen carefully and use one of my three steps to uncover a workable solution. GenXer’s and Millennials value information and education. The Care Planning Team step is useful for looking at various options that you can bring to the table. Not an expert? There are many specialists and study groups available to help. Be the moderator, facilitator, or if need be, the mediator to initiate and advance the “talk” to the planning stage. Use and adapt my three-step roadmap and the Jones family story to help GenXers and Millennials engage in the “talk.”

Book Excerpt

How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Jodi decides this is her opportunity to be more open with her dad. “And as long as we are discussing this together, let me share that Jackson and I are equally concerned about the effects Grandma’s unsteadiness could have on you, both emotionally and physically, Dad.”

Jodi’s son, Erik, seizes the opportunity to add, “OK, while we are adding concerns about the effects on Grandma and Grandpa, we should also discuss the effects it is having on you, Mom.”

“Oh, right, yes, that,” Jodi stumbles along in response. “I saw the research you and Nicole did on your own concerning the effects of caregiving on the caregiver.” Worried that this acknowledgment will upset her father, she hurriedly adds, “However, let’s all agree that we need, as a family, to focus on caring for Grandma first. We do not want to wait until Grandma’s unsteadiness turns into an emergency.”

“Especially with all of us still working,” Erik says. As an afterthought he asks, “Who’d take care of her?”

“I’d take care of her,” Grandpa firmly announces, revealing his affection for his wife and his obvious intention to stay in control. Jodi may be the family matriarch, but Grandpa James certainly sees himself as fiercely independent and as head of his household.

Jodi is alarmed at her father’s defensive attitude. “Dad, can you agree, as remote a chance as it, that it’s possible you might not be able to take care of Mom as you would wish?” Clearly, her father is struggling with the idea of where this planning meeting is heading. Hoping to reestablish a caring and open atmosphere, Jodi adds, “That is why we’re all on this call; to work together to prepare for the unexpected.”

Tensions are surfacing, so the Jones family will have to move forward and foster a level of cooperation. Planning for care is a multilayered process.

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Carroll S Golden

How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Synopsis

Author Biography

Author Insight

What DoesThis Study Tell You?

Book Excerpt

How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Comment on this Bubble