How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Parenting & Relationships

synopsis

Synopsis

"Carroll weaves her vast experience in long term care insurance and personal insights into the MUST-READ book! It is jam-packed with helpful information families and professionals need to know in order to make informed decisions about aging planning." —Annalee Kruger, President of Care Right Inc., and author of The Invisible Patient: The Emotional, Financial, and Physical Toll on Family Caregivers

Who’s going to be the physical, emotional, and financial caregiver in your family (no matter how you define family)? Few of us understand or are prepared for the breadth of lifestyle implications that come with that role. On the flip side, what if it’s you that needs care?

Meet the Jones family, a multigenerational example of how it all works in the real world. Follow Jodi and her family as they suddenly must deal with her parent’s extended care needs. Tension, guilt, and a lack of information start to impact Jodi’s health, happiness, job and family, relationships. Follow along as this multigenerational family uses my three-step process to create a Care Guide, a Care Squad, and a Care Planning Team. Learn how to establish a framework to start and continue conversations, minimize tension, and gain an overview of several planning options to fit almost any budget so you’re ready for tomorrow.

bio

Author Biography

Carroll S. Golden, CLU, ChFC, FLMI, CASL, LACP, LTCP, CLTC, is an executive, author, and pubic speaker whose focus is working with agents/advisors and caregivers about opening family discussions and planning for extended care needs. Currently, she serves as the Executive Director of the National Association of Insurance and Financial Advisors (NAIFA) Specialty Centers. She is dedicated to helping professionals and families create and fund a plan for extended care by providing actionable information, guidance, effective strategies, expertise, and resources. Following Carroll’s text-book for professionals, “How Not To Tear Your Family Apart,” her second book, an Amazon #1 Best Seller story-book, “How Not To Pull Your Family Apart” encourages individuals and families to identify with the story’s characters, overcome the silence, and engage in these important discussions. Carroll can be reached at carroll@thecaringconversation.com

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Author Insight

The Exhausted Caregiver

As I.M Pei stated, “Success is a collection of problems solved.” We are living not just hearing about the sandwich generation, income depletion, retirement delay, rising health care costs, telemedicine, robotic surgery, longevity preparedness, and the increase of dementia and Alzheimer disease. Every American is or will be impacted in some way by extended or long-term care needs. Rosa's situation is becoming more and more common. And like Rosa, most of us put off discussing or planning for future care needs.

Book Excerpt

How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

I was having a quick coffee with my friend, Rosa. She jumped when her cell phone rang. I saw the photo indicating that it was her mom calling. Her expression revealed tension and dismay. “It’s my mom,” she explained. “I am sure she needs something but I am not sure I can fit another thing into my day.” Suddenly focusing on me, she apologetically said, “Sorry, did I say that out loud? That sounded so unkind.”

Before she could continue, I reached over and squeezed her hand. “I know how much you love her. How can I help?” I asked.

“I can’t even do some things my kids need me to do. I am becoming my friends worse nightmare. I depend on others for things I want to do with them.” A tear rolled slowly down my friend’s cheek. I felt her sadness.

Caring for her mom consumes most of Rosa’s daily routine. She has lost sight of her true north and is now in survival mode, operating as if everything is a ten. She is her mother’s sole caregiver. As the dementia worsens, prioritizing caregiving over her own health care needs, Rosa has delayed going to physical therapy for her hip discomfort despite worsening pain. She skipped scheduling a colonoscopy despite her father dying of colorectal cancer. We work together so I know she shows up to work looking exhausted and worried. She has taken so much time off that I wonder if she will just quit, or worse, lose her job.

Looking completely exhausted, Rosa squeezes my hand back, “I should have listened when you kept telling me to get a plan in place to handle some of these responsibilities but I was afraid of upsetting my Mom. All this running in circles is making me crazy. I am sure it has put my job in jeopardy and washed away any chance of my being in the promotion pipeline at work. I worry, constantly, that I’m not doing enough for my Mom and I know I’m not doing enough for my kids.”

Despite my encouragement to plan for her parent’s care, Rosa was worried it would upset her family if she talk about planning for her parent’s care needs. Now, everything is upset.

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Carroll S Golden

How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Synopsis

Author Biography

Author Insight

The Exhausted Caregiver

Book Excerpt

How Not To Pull Your Family Apart

Comment on this Bubble