A Pair of Smarty Pants
My name is Tyler and I have a big problem.
My pants won’t stop talking to me!
I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true.
Yesterday I was a perfectly normal kid: I had a normal daydream in English class. I made some normal spitballs with my buddy Paul. I had normal conversations with my (mostly) normal friends.
But today I’m trying to avoid all those normal people so they don’t see me having conversations with my own pants!
It all started this morning in Science class…
I had finished my photosynthesis assignment early. So I asked Mr. Beaker if Paul and I could use the last few minutes of class to study for a math test that we had in last period.
Mr. Beaker ran his thumb and forefinger along his goatee for a moment as if he was in deep thought. Then he said, “I’ll tell you what, Tyler. If you can answer a question on photosynthesis, I’ll let you and Paul take the rest of class to study math.”
“Don’t do it!” whispered Paul. “He’s trying to trick you into learning something.”
“OK,” I said confidently. “What’s your question?”
“What is the name of the green pigment in plants that absorbs sunlight?” asked Mr. Beaker.
“Chlorophyll.” I answered.
“Oh no,” moaned Paul.
“That’s right!” cheered Mr. Beaker. “You and Paul may study your math.”
So Paul and I got our notebooks and started studying together.
Sarah walked by and whispered, “Study all you want. You still won’t get as good a grade as me.” Then she smiled and waved so everyone would think she just said something nice to us.
“That Sarah thinks she’s such a smarty pants,” I said to Paul.
Suddenly I heard a weird voice say, “Hey! I’m a smarty pants too!”
Paul’s eyes got really big. He looked at me, then he looked around the room.
“Who said that?” he whispered.
Before I could answer, the voice spoke again.
“I said that. Look down here!”
Slowly, I bent down to look under my desk. I was half afraid of what I might find. At first I didn’t see anything.
“Over here,” said the voice. Then I looked closer and realized it was my pants! They were talking!
MY PANTS WERE TALKING!!!
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