“Major Chu Guano, reporting as directed, Chairman Sir!”
Chairman showed no emotion as he began, “Major Guano, after your failed operational test in Yangzi River Province, I was concerned that this Battlefield Communications solution of yours would ever be of any value. Where are you in your post-catastrophe analysis? What are your next steps? And more importantly, when can I see something useful?”
Major Guano swallowed hard as he answered, “Chairman, we have run through all of the subject test results. Our data suggests that we have additional challenges to overcome before the Battlefield Communications solution can be attempted again.”
Chairman came over closer to the Major who was standing at attention and said in a low growl, “Major, I didn’t cover up your mess of a poorly conceived program to be told that you haven’t gotten any further with the solution!”
Chairman then went over to his private washroom, opened the door and said, “Come on in, honey. I’ve brought someone over for you to play with.”
Over the last few months Chairman had worked hard to earn Nikkei’s trust and affection. Even though he now only lightly tranquilized her, she had become the pet he had always wanted. Nikkei was the one hundred sixty kilo white tiger Chang had graciously accepted from an employee who had wanted to buy his freedom. Nikkei had always been an affectionate animal and when invited to play with someone it always gave him cause to smile.
Like many large animals however, Nikkei often played her new guests to death. She had been raised by a Russian enforcer and former Dteam leader, Grigory, who had been in the identity theft business. When people needed to be interrogated, Nikkei more than adequately filled that role for him. She was now providing her special interrogation techniques for Chairman. Major Guano trembled at Nikkei’s flashing green eyes and diamond studded collar as she paced around the room and watched him.
Chairman calmly smiled as he focused on Nikkei, yet advised, “Major, I hope you don’t mind, but I find that Nikkei has a calming effect on me. So long as I remain calm, she doesn’t become too agitated. I have noticed that if I become annoyed, or even worse, angry, she picks up on my mood and tries to make things better by addressing the source of my agitation. So now that introductions have been made between you and Nikkei, where were we in our discussion, Major?”
The Major’s attention was fully focused on the white tiger as he struggled to keep his trembling under control. The Major tried to speak, but nothing came out of his mouth.
Chairman gently waved his hands and admonished the Major, “Oh, and no loud agitated speech, as excessive noises tend to get Nikkei upset. Based on the results of her former playmates, it is foolish to try and run. She only thinks of that as a hunt game, and I promise you she cannot be outrun. Now with those instructions, what were you going to say?”
The Major finally forced himself to speak in a low even voice, “Chairman, I am here to serve your program. I will do everything to complete your schedule,
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