The Enigma Always

“Dr. von PettinGrübber! I’m delighted to hear from you, sir! I trust this call portents a heartfelt discussion of your needs, unmet by your agency staff that will grant us the opportunity to serve your quest!”

Eric, momentarily blank of thoughts, finally marshaled his mind and responded, “Otto, have you been writing for automobile commercials again? Because that’s what you’re sounding like.”

Grinning, Otto embellished, “Close, liposuction commercials! People always need fat sucked out of somewhere, but it’s the sales presentation that makes or breaks the deal. In our research, it is key for the client to feel there is nothing shameful in eliminating fat excesses that have accumulated over the years. Our best sales pitch is to appeal to the customer by making them feel they should do this or that to look better for their significant other. We minimize the all about me thinking and get the customer to project their feelings on how their partner will relish the new twenty kilo loss. Our liposuction service takes away unwanted fat and returns a more self-assured individual. We call it the Robin-Hood syndrome, whereby we steal the fat from those who have too much in exchange for a more confident outlook on life. Most gratifying, actually.

“But enough about my new frontiers of community service. What can I do for you, sir?”

Eric sat and blinked in a thoroughly disoriented state for several seconds as he tried to process Otto’s comments. He felt like he needed to pinch himself and see if he was dreaming. He finally commented, “I find it astonishing that your organization has so many varied interests in the business world. It’s no wonder people come to you for help. I just wish I could remember why I called you today.”