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Blue Evergarden
a book bubble about
Diaries of a Borderline
Literature & Fiction
Author Insight
The Past Still Whispers. She Stays.
I didn't want her learning to love herself to make the past disappear. That would have been too easy. She can bathe in the love she once denied herself and still hear the whispers. She can lift her eyes toward infinity and still have scars that hide from the light. She can see herself differently and still struggle to love the parts of her that learned survival before they ever learned safety. Both things can be true. I think we sometimes mistake healing for reaching a place where the past can no longer touch us. But she is not becoming someone untouched. She is becoming someone who can be touched by the past without surrendering herself back to it. That is why the final words matter to me: “but she’s learning.” Not healed. Not finished. Learning. And sometimes learning to look at yourself with love while the old whispers are still speaking is its own kind of rebellion.
Book Excerpt
Diaries of a Borderline
She bathes in the love she once denied herself.
How good it feels to lift her eyes to infinity.
She can see her reflection in the watery sky.
How different she looks as she learns to see herself with love.
Whispers still find her.
There is still a battle, for the past doesn’t let us go as easily as we wished.
The scars on her wrists and thighs still hide from the light when she smiles.
She doesn’t know how to love the parts of her that had to learn how to survive without a mommy,
but she’s learning.
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