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Blue Evergarden
a book bubble about
Diaries of a Borderline
Literature & Fiction
Author Insight
Where Do You Go When You Dissociate?
12:00 a.m. is the hour when I become both past and present. When my body remains, but my mind drifts—pulled into places I swore I’d never return to. Dissociation is an old companion. It carries me to the graveyards of promises never made, to the weight of love that is more ghost than comfort. My mother exists in those in-between spaces—not as who she was, but as who I needed her to be. I used to think grief was just sorrow, but sometimes it’s exhaustion. The burden of keeping the dead alive in memory, the responsibility of loving them when the love was never given freely. Who will remember them when I’m gone? And worse—What if she was right about me? The spiral pulls me under. I have always been afraid that loving her will consume me, that forgiving her will require too much of me, that if I put her down, I will disappear too. But I return. The light phases through. It’s time for bed. This passage isn’t just about grief—it’s about survival. About the way trauma rewires memory, how the past follows, how the body carries what the mind tries to leave behind. If you’ve ever felt lost inside your own history, Diaries of a Borderline was written for you. Experience the book that speaks the unspeakable. Order your copy today.
Book Excerpt
Diaries of a Borderline
12:00 a.m.When she dissociates, she goes to places her soul fears most.
She hangs from the promises never made between mother and daughter.
She died too that day.
She finds her way back to the present.
The light phases through her soul.
She’s lonely.
She’s loved her lost ones longer than she’s known them.
Who will remember them when she’s the last one in her family?
Who will love them if she can’t?
What if loving her lost mother is too heavy for her now?
What if she was right?
She finds her way back to the present.
It’s time for bed.
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