God's Armory

Alice called out, “Hey, Sam!” as she dawdled up to him. She looked at him with her good eye and said as quietly as she could manage, “Look what I found.” She proudly and somewhat secretly showed him her findings from the bakery’s dumpster. His eyes lit up.

“This calls for a cup of coffee.” He said as he grabbed his cart and started off.

“What?” She said as he headed for the McDonald’s across the street. “You know you can’t go in there,” she boomed. Not wanting to cause a scene, Alice quieted her voice. “They’ve thrown you out so many times,” she hissed. “They said they would call the police if you came in again.”

“Who said anything about going inside?” He answered over his shoulder, “You comin’ or ain’t you?”

At the drive-through window, the voice replied, “I’m sorry, sir, but this is a drive-through window. We only serve customers who are driving.”

“I am driving! I’m driving my cart right through here! Come on lady, all I want is a cup of coffee,” he said with a cunning smile. Alice gave him a sharp elbow in his ribs. “Ah, make that two cups of coffee.”

There was a pause. The girl at the window was checking with her manager. What should she do? The manager knew Sam only too well. Considering his options at such a busy time of day, he relented.

“Give him his coffee but make him pay for it first. If we’re lucky, he’ll stay outside and go away.”

The young girl at the window grimaced as she accepted the change from his filthy hand, and then shuddered as she watched them dawdle away. “I hate dealing with cash. I wish everyone had their chip already.”

Outside, Sam and Alice happily took their prize and started on their way.

“Hey, hey, hey! What did I tell you?” Sam nudged Alice as they walked out of the drive-through.

“Did you see her face?” Alice asked, remembering the encounter. She giggled until getting to a bench to eat. She sighed, wiping her face, and said, “Sam, it was all I could do to keep a straight face.” She snorted, blew her nose, and then got out a Danish for each of them. They enjoyed their treat before saying goodbye and going their separate ways.