So there I was – without belief or bias, at least as much as possible in regards to my transforming spiritual journey. I started my search for truth. I remember feeling vastly confused and lost in chaos. A Christian friend of mine asked me, “If you were to die right now, where would you go?” I recognized that beyond belief, beyond breath, beyond all we know, we still exist.  This was my first, and possibly most important, realization of life after death.
Having been raised as a born-again Christian believer, the short answer to her question would have been “heaven.” Instead, I challenged myself in answering authentically, because my beliefs had already changed. I speculated that I might continue in at least the same psychological state as was upon my death, maybe. After all, I thought, isn’t a purpose of human psychology to assist with the spiritual journey, so that the spirit continues the overall general impression of the last state of being as death occurred? If this is so, then my life after death would be chaotic, massively burdened, even lost. In my imagined afterlife, I saw myself in space, with nothing around, nothing to refer to, and most emphatically, lost and alone.
My friend and I realized together how my answer could reflect general notions about hell. It was at that realization that my belief system became more honest and genuine to the core, but also, that I should work this out and earnestly seek Truth.  Truth had the answers; Truth provided rest apart from the chaos. For me, during this time of my life, I was no more content in my search. Truth is real and it was my destination for this pilgrimage.
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