If you've been asking yourself questions about why it seems that we just can't get it right in our relationships, and you want more, this is the blueprint to help you navigate during your search. In this book the author uses his life experiences, and those of several men and women of different ethnicities, ages, and cultures to give relationship advice to both sexes. The author has travelled the world and put in over 5 years of research travelling to over 25 countries discussing these topics. The Truth provides answers to today's most pressing issues about relationships, and lays out the roadmap to help you navigate. This book will appeal to readers interested in relationships self-help books.
Songwriter, Music producer & engineer, graphics designer, NOTHING that screams author. Father of 2 boys and a girl, Husband, and now Author. Never intended to become an author it just sort of happened. I've been playing the piano since about 7. Moving into the next phase of my life helping people with their relationships.
Be confident in yourself, but change your behavior to hit your relationship goals.
The Truth: Keepin' It 100
I spoke earlier about being desperate. When I say this, I’m actually referring to males or females that feel like they absolutely have to have a man or woman. I understand everyone wants someone, but don’t act desperate. Men and women can pick up on this pretty easily, and you can sometimes come off as irritating or thirsty. There’s a difference between a man who has confidence, and a man who’s “thirsty” as it’s commonly referred to these days. This may or may not include constantly stalking a woman or constantly sending her messages after she’s already told you how she felt. Desperate people usually rush into relationships because they want one so badly, and they end up having a lot of short ones that don’t work out. They are the ones that usually start asking questions like, “Are there any good guys left?” This is the case with people who have been married before and have gotten a divorce, and we know that is happening a lot more than it used to. Someone who has been married is used to having someone in that position. They’re used to having someone around doing things with them or doing things for them, so getting back into the dating scene can be a drag. What have you missed for all those years that you were tied down? Nothing. Guys are still the same. Maybe they are of lesser quality than when you got tied down. Quality men are still around, it just isn’t as easy to find them. These women also tend to be attracted to men who are either already married, or in a relationship. Maybe his woman at home isn’t playing her role. Either way, she will get into relationships with these men because it seems like the ones who are taken are the only good ones she can find. It’s funny how it happens like that sometimes. But this person is used to a long-term relationship, so naturally she will search for that type of relationship again. That may come off as desperate, but it will take a real man to recognize this. Some people fall in love quickly. And once again, this isn’t dependent on age or ethnicity. The people who fall in love easily are pure people. They usually aren’t promiscuous, (or at least they don’t try to be) and they just want a decent relationship. They are people who feel the need to have a mate in their life all the time, and when they don’t, they get desperate. If you are one of these people, try waiting a little longer before you enter the next relationship. Not everyone has a good heart and good intentions. Time reveals all things.
Confidence is everything, so don’t be a pushover. There is some truth to the saying that nice guys finish last. He doesn’t finish last in life, but sometimes he does with the women. No woman wants a guy who’s too nice. Stand on your own two feet and have some balls. There will always be a time when a man needs to step up and be a man. If he can’t even handle his woman he certainly won’t be able to handle something else important that comes up in a relationship. That is part of what goes through women’s minds when you’re a pushover. Women prefer a man who takes charge at the right times. If you don’t start this way in the beginning, later it could prove to be the recipe for disaster, as a woman with a dominant role will create a feeling of belittlement within the man. If things aren’t going the way you want them too, maybe take a look at your attitude and your confidence. You should always have a positive attitude about your confidence. If you have a negative attitude, surely your relationship will be negative also. So guys, if you want to talk to that woman and she’s a ten, have the confidence to go and talk to her.
I’m going to mention here a thing or two about being “thirsty.” Sometimes getting attention from a guy doesn’t mean he’s thirsty or desperate. Some women who haven’t yet graduated will take genuine attention from a good man as being “thirsty.” These days if you give a woman a compliment you’re being thirsty. Ladies, learn the difference between being desperate and getting some good attention. Once you learn to differentiate between the two then maybe you can find a good guy. The point of this chapter is that you should know what you have to offer. You know what you are capable of and if you know you are a good man or a good woman, your confidence should reflect that.
I recently read a book titled The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. The book was about getting your finances in shape. But often in the book, the core concept wasn’t necessarily about the money. It was about the person’s attitude towards how they handle it. It was about changing their behavior. It was about looking in the mirror and deciding that nothing would stop you from changing your behavior, and that you would never return to old habits and behaviors ever again. I applied that to my finances, but I also began applying it to everything else in my life, including my relationship, starting with myself. If there was something I wanted to change, I looked in the mirror, accepted what I knew was a problem, and I worked on changing my behavior. Eventually my results changed. The idea is that if you really want significant change to occur, you have to do it for yourself. You have to want the change so bad and focus on that so intensely that you have no choice but to move forward in a different direction. I’m saying the same about your relationship. You have to truly desire change in your relationship and your life before your behavior will change sufficiently to bring different results. You have to assess the issues you have in your relationship and ask if your attitude and behavior reflects the change you want. I genuinely want to help people out with this. In fact, it has become a passion of mine to challenge people to change their behavior so they can experience true love and joy in every aspect of their lives, but especially in their relationships.