“Well, last January, I was getting ready for bed, taking off and cleaning my contacts under the tap. The water sprayed rather than flowing smoothly because a screen in the faucet was broken. I told Mary I could fix that. She claimed she’d been after me about it for three years.”
Doofus smirked. “Always quick on the uptake, aren’t ya?”
“I took another look at it. The threads to hold the screen in place were badly corroded. The faucet had to be replaced, and there were tiny cracks in the sink. The sink was molded into the countertop, so the faucet, sink, and countertop all had to go. Mary never liked the vanity and cabinets, and I knew she’d want those replaced if I put in a new countertop. A 25 cent replacement screen turned into a $4,500 remodeling job, before I made it from the sink to our bed.”
Doofus was beaming. “So, it was like most of your projects, huh? This is just the story I needed tonight.”
That didn’t make me feel better. “Do you know what they charge for bathroom vanities? My God, that was a shock. I figured I could buy a table saw, jigs to get the angles right, and build the whole thing myself for a third of the cost.”
“Didn’t know you was a carpenter.”
“I’m not. Mary encourages me to do woodwork because her father was a carpenter. Heck, I can’t pound a nail straight, but cabinets are glued and screwed together. That was all I knew, so I was in a fool’s paradise.”
“That should put ya in familiar territory.”
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