day before.
This time, the failures only disheartened me temporarily. The road would be long and
fraught with setbacks, but if I wanted a happier and more fulfilling life, I had to change
what I had been doing unmindfully for years. I continued my studies with the goal of
becoming a licensed Science of Mind practitioner. The extra meetings and late-night
studying became part of my daily routine, outside of being the best mother I could
possibly be. The girls were changing, too. Their lives included music and dance lessons
and visits to the homes of friends. I loved every new thing they experienced and
remembered the good things about my life at their age. I also remembered my
disappointments, loneliness, and yearning to feel more loved by my busy parents.
My interest in resuming a social life outside the potluck dinners and ‘singles only’
socials grew, but now the idea of seriously dating again at my age and as a mother of two
young girls seemed illogical and too difficult to handle.
148
Another crisis in confidence. Another reason to find solace and direction through
prayer. A firm believer in possibilities, I gave this last ‘wish’ on my Miracle Card
considerable reflection. I would rather remain without a husband than to leap into another
dating situation with some man who couldn’t see beyond my outward appearance. My
svelte body might serve to catch his attention, but it was for me to enjoy—a visible
demonstration of my ability to forgo sugar-filled food in favor of something spiritually
satisfying.
I wrote a long list of the qualities I valued in a for-the-rest-of-my-life husband and
step-father of my daughters. God wanted me
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