.
Food became my panacea. Not alcohol or prescription drugs. Not just any food,
either. I preferred something that was sweet and felt like a treat. I had been using sweets
to make me feel good about myself and mend a broken spirit since I was a young girl,
and the effect had numbed the pain for the moment only. Sweets are what we call “empty
calories” today and such calories, for most people, just add on pounds. Subconsciously,
that’s exactly what I wanted. The more weight I gained, the less chance any man would
take a serious glance at me. Second helpings. Dessert for sure. Daytime snacks. Evening
snacks. And chocolate in all forms: bars, brownies, ice cream and especially Whitman’s
Samplers.
My father was now playing nightly at the Beverly Hills Hotel and the life he and my
mother led continued to be actively social
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