Soon after I was seated, I observed a man make his way to the podium. Clearing his voice, the man stated, “I should be dead now!” Now that is an icebreaker for the ages, I thought. The speaker continued by introducing himself as the scientist representing the New Zealand National Police.
The police department’s scientist explained that the chemical substance I had forwarded for police evaluation had tested positive for laboratory-grade potassium cyanide. The scientist continued that he normally began testing unknown substances with acid-based chemicals. For an unexplained reason, on this day, the scientist began his test with nonacid-based chemicals. The scientist explained that if he had begun his examination with acid, the potassium cyanide would have created hydrocyanic acid fumes, the same chemical brew used for capital punishment executions in gas chambers.
Unlike its neighbor Australia, New Zealand is snake-free and void of land-borne venomous animals. That is, with the exception of a specific human serpent who remained concealed somewhere on this South Pacific island nation, stating his intent to kill Tiger Woods and New Zealand citizens.
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